Turning Feedback into Stronger Writing

Using Feedback to Strengthen Your Writing

"Expunge this," "be more direct," "strengthen coherence." If you've ever received feedback like this, you know how frustratingly vague it can be. The advice is sound, but the instruction can feel unclear sometimes. I learned this firsthand after spending days on a section of my literature review, only to be told it had to be cut because it weakened my main point. Though the feedback was fair, it left me wondering how researchers are supposed to act on such instructions. This blog post highlights pieces of writing advice with practical strategies and examples, showing you how to move from vague instruction to clearer writing.

 

Tighten your sentences

Strunk and White's most famous rule that "vigorous writing is concise" and should contain no unnecessary words is deceptively simple. The challenge for writers lies in the fact that we rarely consciously insert needless information. Therefore, learning to identify and omit it is a core skill of the editing process.

 

For instance, look at my original sentence: “National data show an increasing number of adolescents worldwide with a higher surge in sub-Saharan Africa who are growing up in diverse contexts characterized by peculiar challenges.”

 

I was later advised that the sentence needed to be revised to make it clearer and more impactful as an opening as there were too many concepts expressed there.

 

Edited: “Globally, adolescents face growing challenges, with their numbers rising fastest in sub-Saharan Africa.”

 

The revised version is more concise and improves readability because it reduces competing ideas and eliminates unnecessary complexity. In my first draft, I tried to say too much at once: global data, rising adolescent numbers, the surge in sub-Saharan Africa, and the fact that young people are growing up in diverse contexts with unique challenges. By cramming these into a single sentence, I made it harder for readers to catch the main point.

The revision highlights the essentials: adolescents worldwide face growing challenges, and their numbers are rising fastest in sub-Saharan Africa. It drops vague qualifiers like “diverse contexts characterized by peculiar challenges” and avoids stacking prepositional phrases that slow the reader down. The original had five prepositions, while the new version has only two.

By trimming unnecessary words and sharpening the focus, the opening becomes stronger, which is the goal of an introduction.

 

Avoid unnecessary use of scientific jargons

The instruction to "avoid scientific jargon" could be often misinterpreted. It does not mean you must eliminate all technical terms. Instead, it means you should use simple language your specific audience will understand.

Simple language is audience centred. It’s about choosing words they know, structuring content in a logical order, and formatting for clarity. Therefore, you can and should use terms like “fertility transition,” “demographic dividend,” or “forced migration” if you are writing for fellow demographers or population scientists. For that audience, those are the plainest, most precise words available.

The goal is not to "dumb down" your science but to ensure it is communicated effectively. Avoid jargon means avoiding the unnecessary use of technical terms when simpler ones exist or using specialized language when your audience lacks the context to understand it. For instance, instead of using highly technical terms like “angiogenesis” or “heteroscedasticity”, one could use simpler phrases such as “growth of new blood vessels” or “unequal variability in data” when writing for a general audience. Ultimately, it’s about removing barriers to comprehension so your key ideas can shine through.

 

Strengthen coherence

A well-structured paragraph guides the reader effortlessly from one idea to the next. This requires two essential qualities: 1) coherence: ideas are presented in a logical order and 2) cohesion: each sentence connects clearly to the one before and after it.

When coherence is weak, begin with a precise topic sentence that establishes the paragraph's main point. Then, arrange supporting sentences in a logical sequence, such as chronological order, general to specific, or a claim-evidence-analysis model.

Note that "strengthening coherence" is different from "tightening sentences." It's about improving logical flow, which sometimes requires adding explanatory links, as this example shows.

 

Original: “Adolescents face issues like unintended pregnancies. Schools sometimes teach about contraception, but not always. Relationships and consent are also important topics. Adolescents often hear misinformation.”

 

Edited: Adolescents often lack reliable access to sexual health education, which increases their vulnerability to risky sexual behaviours. Comprehensive sexual health programs that provide accurate information about contraception, consent, and healthy relationships have been shown to delay sexual activity and reduce risky behaviours. For example, studies have found that adolescents who receive evidence-based instruction are more likely to use condoms consistently and less likely to experience unintended pregnancies.

 

The edited version transforms a list of disjointed facts into a coherent argument, complete with a central claim and supporting evidence.

 

Make writing a regular habit

Finally, there are so many clichéd pieces of writing advice, and “writing everyday” is one of them. However, you don’t need to write every single day to be a productive writer. What matters most is finding a rhythm that fits your schedule and allows you to engage with your work consistently. For some, daily writing feels natural and energizing, while, for others, it creates unnecessary guilt when life demands attention elsewhere. A more sustainable approach is to set aside regular blocks of time each week, whether that’s two mornings, three evenings, or short bursts spread throughout your schedule. The key is to engage with your projects often enough to maintain momentum and train yourself to write even in small windows of time. Consistency, not perfection, is what builds lasting progress.

 

 

In summary, improving as a writer is less about following rigid rules and more about learning to adapt advice in ways that work for you. Whether it’s cutting a beloved paragraph, trimming unnecessary words, choosing simple language, or structuring paragraphs for coherence, each revision is a step toward clarity. Writing is iterative, and the goal is not perfection on the first try but progress through practice. By approaching feedback with openness and treating editing as a craft rather than a chore, we can make our ideas sharper, stronger, and more impactful for the audiences we hope to reach.

 

First image and thumbnail: by Getty Images on Unsplash

Second image: Illustration by Art Attack on Unsplash